To what could be.

I do not know what to or what not to expect.

If anything, to say yes to forever, I hope never to neglect what form your insides have taken. They have a history all apart, all so different from my own. You had a life before we met. 

Your life. YOURS. Different from what I could imagine, though I like to believe that when I close my eyes and you recount the stories spilling into your memory and then out of your mouth, that I can see them in my head exactly... but probably not.

And when you will share your photographs with me, I would like to believe that when my mind attempts to chronicle the adventures and the laughter that shaped you into who you are today.. that I might be able to know them for myself... yet... probably not. Probably, I won't. Our timelines never touched until we met.

When I say yes to forever because forever is what we say to whom we hope to be our truest friends... I think that I do not want to know what to or what not to expect sense the way of perfectionism goes like this: I would like to have control of, to pretend to know and to say that I love mystery and yet not embrace him when I see him in you.

So I will say, "I will forsake friendship! And I will avoid romance! Because look at how noble I try to make myself seem! because look at all the mistakes I do not want to and probably will make!" I could and I will probably make the mistake of not letting you have your life one particular day. Or maybe many, so how could I live with myself at the thought of doing that to you? -- and yet, we are all traveling and everything beautiful comes our way when we choose to travel. And yet, we see only so little when we stay in one place, trapping ourselves in our lonely houses where we each grew up.

I do not know what to expect.

So if I should catch a glimpse of who you are and who you are not, I want to be able to say that more than few of the times that you've passed your filled hand to me that it was then that I offered you up into the sky like an explosion of confetti to twirl all around our world, landing into special places in the dirt that I could never pin point.

To be okay with that, I'd hope a peace like that would shape wrinkles of gladness to the side of my eyes.

But, I do not know what to expect. 

Perhaps for today, I can rest in that.