The past year I’ve learned that humility is a quality that I really admire in a friend. Friendship is a wonderful opportunity. And, I’m also learning so much about how much I’ve been learning about what occurs in a friendship.
I also really need to remember that it’s absolutely okay to need encouragement, and that it’s okay to find yourself weak in certain enviroments. I find that I end up having meltdowns when I isolate myself and I tell myself that I am weak because I can’t remain strong by myself all the time. Truthfully, I have felt like a failure the past few weeks sense I’ve been back home because I find it hard for me to be encouraged and remain strong when I have no one who really encourages me in my day to day struggles here (I kind of feel the way I did before I left for college). I’m really sick of beating myself up, and so, I’m really thankful for friends that can recognize the fact that I’m beating myself up when I fail to see it in me, friends that despite the distance i can share with them what’s been going on in my brain and heart, friends who have the patience to allow me to externally process my thoughts.
I’m really thankful for those folks who will listen and speak with no judgement on their tongue because they know how it goes. They know what it’s like to be on the verge of a break down or to be weak, even if they don’t experience it in the same way, or as much as I do.
I think my favorite thing about friendship is that I often find myself, when with a really encouraging friend, saying to myself, “I want to be insert-friends-name-here when I grow up”, in other words, I find myself saying “I want to be able to lift another person up the way they encourage me”. The encouragement I receive from a whole-hearted person makes me feel like I can soar!
So now, looking back, I find it so strange: I think to myself, how could I have simple settled calling people who would just tear me down and be impatient with me and bail out quickly “my friend?” I had thought when I was younger that friendship was just about having someone who likes the same thing as you or someone to go to the mall with all the time. I know that a friend by no means is perfect and has weakness just like the other, but, I began to see a huge difference between fickle folks who spent time with me because they thought I was cool for liking certain things, and the people who, despite our differences and disagreements, would stick with me and encourage me.
It continues to blow my mind that there is such a beautiful thing as friendship in the world of human relationships!
And so, now that I’m starting to learn more about what friendship is like, I really just want to be a good friend as my friends are to me. I still have a lot to learn, but they inspire me so much to be a whole-hearted person and friend. I think maybe friends are supposed to inspire each other.
Also, twelve more days until I leave for Philadelphia! PHRWOAAARRRRRR!!!
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