Last night was...

Last night was... the first time i’ve ever journeyed towards the beach at nighttime, blessed with a clear sky to just gaze, gaze, gaze at, to open ones heart and just sing about how beautiful life and love is; how this isn’t just a waste of time, a waste of space, a waste of breath.

In these bodies we will live
In these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love
You invest your life.

And looking back and seeing the silhouette of those your heart has grown so large for so fast… i’m so thankful for the new folks in my life, where in my previous despair, i would have never imagined…. Folks who have the spirit to just go out of the way to take wonderful trips like this, to just be still and silent in a world that is too loud and too fast to remember how amazing it is to be here and to see the Face of Life and think about why we’re here and what Love looks like…

Then we observed the night scene of downtown Savannah over some delicious pizza and older punk rhythms. i’ve never seen that before, people up late to eat by themselves; i just wonder what they’re thinking and why they’re here, the flashing light of clubs and women walking down the street hanging on some man’s arm, wearing clothes that reveal too much of what she really isn’t. And so then, you’re thrust back into reality, with that warmth, the embrace of the cosmos still lingering in your heart, wondering how you and your friends can shed some light between that of the day scene of this college town that moves entirely too fast and the midnight nation that doesn’t really seem to know where it is to go at all.

Let’s turn this city’s lights off, stare at the stars and begin to wonder (for those who’ve never took the time to,) “Why are we so small? Whoever is up there, do we look like stars at all?” And maybe that will move us.

Something inside me says we bear the same image.

If you even wore shoes... i'd like to be in them.

i just want to be a real friend to Jesus again. Why am i not treating you like a friend? You feel so far away. And when i don't know where you are, i don't know where i am either or who i am either.

i hate everything i've made you into, and i hate how i've used you. i hate how i don't feel like i know you anymore. Who needs amazing theology? Who needs to know everything? It's nice, but it's been so consuming and so distracting.... What have i been making myself? Thinking about you day and night and not even knowing who you are, losing track, losing my memory, my mind, everything... i just want to be your friend. The bestest friend i know i could possibly ever be, because that is who i want to be. And we become who were are around with. And i haven't hung out with you so much. i need to get out of here. i need to be in your shoes and live your life. We need to hold hands and get out there, like a pair of crazy lovers that the world has no control of.... Because i'm going crazier here in suburbia, in my comfort, in my loneliness. Jesus, there is so much crap here that i don't want to conform to.

i miss you so much. You see past my weakness and see someone decent, someone who could be beautiful like you.